One Month Old Today (or 2 days ago)

I originally started this blog on Tuesday, the 26th and here it is Thursday, the 28th and I still haven't finished it.  I guess this is just another reminder of being the momma.  LOL!!

So, let's try this again....

Wow, I can't believe my baby boy is one month old today!  It seems like just yesterday I was in the hospital, feeling exhausted and relieved all at the same time.  Its funny how quickly time flies by.... one moment the idea of having a child was just a dream, then I was pregnant, before I knew it I was giving birth and now I'm the proud momma of a one month old.

My life has completely changed.  I'm lucky if I get a shower before 1 or 2 in the afternoon, I have no idea of what sleeping for more than 2 hours in a row looks like, my house is a bit more unorganized than normal, my hair has been up more often than not, I've been spit upon, peed on and pooped on and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Jackson is an amazing little boy.  I know that ALL parents think/believe their child is amazing, but I swear mine really is.  He's been lifting his head for a few weeks now and when he's laying on my chest (or daddy's) he digs his feet in and moves his knees.  We are convinced that he will be crawling before too long.  He loves his swing or just being rocked in general.  He loves having his picture taken, but hates the flash.  He loves the bath... Daddy's very excited about this!  Water-baby!!

Time is flying by very quickly and I sometimes wish I could stop time.  But not so that I could get more sleep or take a longer shower, but so that I could just hold my son and look into his beautiful blue eyes.  This stage is very challenging but so far also very rewarding.  We are enjoying every minute and are still in awe that we are his parents.

Happy One Month Birthday, Jackson David!!  We love you more than you know and we are SO excited to watch you grow and to be apart of your life.

One Month Old

Thank Heaven For Little Boys

Pumpkin Patch

My favorite season of the year is Fall.  I love the smell of hot apple cider, the colors of orange and red everywhere I look and of course the crisp chill in the air.  Jackson was lucky enough to be born in the Fall, like his momma.  I can only hope that he too will share this love of Fall with me.

This past weekend we took Jackson to his first Pumpkin Patch.  Knowing that he was really too young to participate in all of the joys, didn't stop us from braving the challenge of 4-wheeling our stroller through the patch.  Luckily enough we were joined by our close friends the Demske's and of course Grammy and Poppa Holmes.

This was defiantly the beginning of a wonderful tradition.  I'm looking forward to many more years of taking Jackson and one day his sibling, to the Pumpkin Patch.  And we are hoping the Demske's will join us in our new family tradition.

 Arriving at Bishop Fams

Adorable Jordis Jane

The Demske Family

The Holmes Family

Great friends

The mommas and babies

My goofy husband

Being the Momma

For those of you that know me, know that I've ALWAYS wanted to be a mom.  I use to carry around my babies pretending they were real.  It was rare to see me without one of them attached to my hip.  So needless to say when Matthew and I found out we were pregnant, I was on top of the world!!  My dream was coming true, I was finally going to be a mommy!!

There is so much to being the mommy.  Fears that come to the surface, joys that you never imagined and a love like no other!  I, like so many before me and those to come, wonder if they are doing the right thing, making the right decisions and if they have what it takes to raise this perfect gift from God. What a job!

The things I have learned so far.... I can function on very little sleep, though not a huge fan of this, A smile from my son, cures all insecurities, and being the mommy is the GREATEST gift of all!!

Love looking into his eyes!

My sweet, sweet boy

Talking to each other

Nap Time

Hanging out with my "kids"

A lunch outing

So far I've been a mommy for 3 weeks and 2 days.  Each day it gets a bit easier, I get a bit more sleep and I understand the needs of my son a little more.

Here are a few things I've learned that stand out above the rest..... 

• Everyday you do the best you can
• There is NO manual, so follow your instincts
• Listen to others, but make your own decision
• Nap when he naps, everything else can wait
• Nothing is what you thought it would be.... its SO much better

Lil' Monkey

During my entire pregnancy, I kept feeling like I had a lil' monkey hanging from my rib cage.  Little did I know that I really did have a lil' monkey growing inside of me.  The first thing I noticed when they finally handed him to me, besides the fact that he was beautiful, was that he had these big feet and hands.  Before we even left the hospital we realized that we truly had a lil' monkey on our hands.

Below you will find some of my favorite faces that he makes along with some very talented use of his toes.

Monkey Faces:

Nostril Flare

There goes the eye brow

Full on Monkey Face

Don't forget about the pucker lips

Fun with my toes:

Thumbs Up (with his toes)

Toes through the blanket

All his toes through the blanket

Spending Time with Daddy

I'll never forget the look in Matthew's eyes when he saw Jackson for the first time.  He kept looking back and forth from Jackson to I, saying "Oh baby, he's beautiful".  I truly believe that it was love at first sight!!  Looking at Jackson you can truly see his daddy.  They have the same eyes, nose, chin, hands and feet.  Its like looking at a little Matthew..... truly a spitting image of each other.

When we first found out we were pregnant, I asked Matthew what he was hoping for.  He said he honestly didn't care, as long as he was health..... and I knew this to be true.  However, the moment we found out we were having a little boy, he was filled with a different kind of joy and excitement.  All of a sudden, he was dreaming of Sunday Football Games, Baseball Games, Fishing, Boating/Camping Trips and other Father/Son Outings.

Below you will find a few of my favorites so far..... My two handsome men.  They defiantly make my heart melt everyday!

First morning at home. Snuggle time.

My two handsome men

Already wrapped around daddy's finger

Welcoming Jackson David

Friday, September 24, 2010

We were admitted to Roseville Kaiser at 6:15pm to be induced. At this point, Jackson was a week late. We were eager to meet our beautiful little boy. They started with the very basic medications to induce me in hopes of a very smooth labor. We were lucky enough to have an amazing nurse Pam, who promised to be with me every step of the way. Grammy, Poppa Holmes and Auntie Dani came to offer support and keep me entertained as we waited to meet our little boy. By midnight, it proved to be a long evening with no progress in my dilation.

Mommy and Daddy 

With Auntie Dani

Grammy and Poppa Holmes

With Nurse Pam

With Auntie Heidi

With Grammy Lin and Poppa Bubs

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Today started off to be a very frustrating, long day. Still no progress on the dilation front, and our favorite Nurse Pam's shift was over. This began the frustrating process of musical nurses and doctors, all of whom kept changing the game plan. By 11am we were no further along than the night before when we checked in. 

The frustration began to rise in the room as none of us knew what to do, and my pain kept increasing. By this point, the rest of the family had arrived including Grammy Lin and Poppa Smeck, Auntie Heidi and Nathan, and Auntie Kristy. The replacement nurse on duty was my worst nightmare. Not only did she belittle my pain and contractions, but told me I needed to have a realistic expectation of labor. Contractions went from tolerable to tear-filled and exhausting. At this point I did not have any pain medications, it was me and the hands I was holding and squeezing to get me through the hell. All I could think about was that I needed to get to 10:15pm when Nurse Pam was back on duty. 

With Auntie Kristy

Finally it got bad enough, that Matt and Momma Holmes intervened on my behalf, and started scolding nurses and doctors (by this point we are more than 24 hours into labor) to get a plan of action in place for the remainder of the labor. After a little more hell and some payback on our nurse, she finally went to break. While she was gone, another nurse walked in and realized my pain. Before I knew it, an epidural had been ordered along with Pitocin by a faceless doctor, who became my godsend. We are now 28 hours into labor and I finally got some pain relief and was looking at a possible nap for the first time since we checked in. 

At 10:45pm, Nurse Pam walked into my room and promised to be with me until the end. She was able to tell us that Jackson was sunny-side-up, and that he was crammed in my pelvis area and that his head was up against my cervix. The next few hours were a blur... clouded by great drugs. I swear Lil' Mama Holmes had an out of body experience equivalent to the hippies of the 1960's. 

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I wish I could tell you what really was going on. All I know is that by 5:15am we were only at 6cm. Jackson's heart beat was still strong, even though it had taken a few dips at night. In walked Nurse Pam and the doctor to give Matt and I our options. We had two: 1) We could increase the Pitocin and check again in two more hours for any changes, or 2) We could go ahead and have a C-section. Matt and I decided that a C-section was our option. I was so tired and drained that I didn't feel that I had the energy to hang on any longer. 

By 5:58am I was being rolled into the OR. At 6:13am, Matt sat down next to me... only long enough to look up and see our son come into the world!!!!!!! Matt said something like, "You should see him babe!", and I could hear Jackson crying. Matt took off with Jackson for his first bath, as I continued on with my surgery. By 6:57am I was being rolled into recovery. A little after 7am, my little boy was placed into my arms for the very first time. The love was overwhelming. We spent the next two hours getting to know each other and meeting the family. By 9am the three of us were admitted into our room. 

Jackson David Holmes, 7lbs, 10oz & 21 inches

Happy Little Boy

Monday September 27th & Tuesday September 28th 

Monday and Tuesday were spent in the hospital as we transitioned as new parents and began the healing  from my C-Section.  Jackson had visitors and got to meet two of his three cousins.  Matt and I were able to get a bit more sleep, finally!  It was great spending some quality time just the three of us and we counted down the minutes until we would be able to go home.  

Grammy Holmes

Poppa Holmes

Grammy Lin

Poppa Smeck

Uncle Omie and Cousins, Lucas and Evan

Very Proud Daddy

Very exhausted, yet happy Mommy

Our Family of three

By Tuesday late afternoon, Matt and I pulled up to our home with our new little bundle of joy!!  Grammy and Poppa Holmes were there to greet us and soon Auntie Dani, and cousins, Gabe, Lucas and Evan joined us to welcome Jackson home.  

Coming Home

Welcome Home Jackson David